Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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