i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He shit in the fireplace
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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