I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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