And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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