she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
