My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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