dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize