Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
