I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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