Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
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So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
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I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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