were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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