Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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