Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
