found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
