Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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