I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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