we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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