I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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