The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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