I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
