Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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