Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
