I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
