We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
