If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I didn't notice because vodka
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
