i jhust puked up my retainher.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize