Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You are a genius and a whore.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
