Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
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I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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