but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Randomize
