ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
