Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
