I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
