i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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