as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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