like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Who died my cat blue again?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
