You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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