Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I showed him my bush... on skype.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
