i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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