If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
