Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
