found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
