Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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