Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
