If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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