we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
