Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
