If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
