I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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