I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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