i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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