you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
