I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
