Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
