well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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