Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
