it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
