I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize