I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
