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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (706): View more from Georgia

  Her name starts with A and ends with whore.

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• (315): View more from New York

  thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (518): View more from New York

  I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.

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• (831): View more from California

  I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.

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