We need to rekindle our bromance
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.