This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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