Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
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