I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind