Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...