he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
