Swine flu. Run for my life!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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