So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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