are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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