My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
