I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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